What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What are the causes of over sweating?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

True - how I loved my mum!

What was your most memorable experience catching a fraudulent car seller?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Is it recommended to leave a note in a lost wallet asking for it to be returned?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

What! how could you do that?

Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”